STFU

22 Oct

Tell my conscience

to shut the fuck up

Give in to my heart

Stop fighting the need inside me

to stop.

breathe.

feel.

forgive.

love.

appreciate.

dance.

laugh.

scream.

cry.

You are not robot, I repeat.

feel.

And feel deeply, painfully, without borders or ends-

feel to infinity,

feel until the end

And then,

Feel again.

Home

17 Oct

These shadows never danced
until you came along
ray of light
You make everything move
And these days,
you’ve stuck on me
hiding between words,
on the tip of my pen,
in every blank page I find

Words of my own?
I don’t need them to belong
I just need to feel
like this
with my head on your shoulder
inhaling your scent
feeling safe
As you try to undo the knots in my hair;

I like to joke and call you dad
But the truth is,
You’ve become my home,
My love.

Home.

With Me

16 Oct

You kissed me
And now your lips
are my muse
and mine
Yours to own

And when these lines got blurry
I could no longer keep you at a distance
So I pulled you close
resting my legs on your legs
and I let you see me;

Or whatever version of her I am today

But kiss me again
and then, once more
And if I run, run with me darling
Don’t try and hold me back;
But don’t go and run ahead of me-
If I hide, come seek me
Don’t overthink it
I say what I mean
I am who I seem
And I want you

with me.

Sheets

12 Oct

Kept the shape of your body

intact

on my sheets
so that,

when you left through the back door

I could still feel

you laying next to me.

Creek

6 Oct

Sanity
Lemon haze and this creek
The sun’s heat on my naked skin
My limbs on the breathing earth
The cool breeze
a tease of the winter that’s to come.

Here,
Peace.
Silence.
Hush hush now,
Be who you be and worry not
about the “aren’ts”
The leaves whisper the name they’ve given me, and
With my head and body leaned against an old, wise tree
I sit
And I am still,
Still.

Kicking Rocks

5 Oct

Maybe my tears will wash you away

Afraid

Of another heartbreak

Too broken to know when to keep quiet;

When to give you smiles and nothing more-

Not this heaviness in my heart,

Nor these knotsĀ on my throat,

Not these feetĀ kicking rocks

Nor my tired feet trudging along.

If I could transform into who I wished I were these days,

I’d be her and no one else for you;

For me

If I could kick these blues away

and have a perfect, balanced brain

Well then,

That’s exactly what I’d do today;

That’s exactly who I would’ve been today.

Emergency Contact

2 Oct

Two words I no longer know how to answer:

Emergency. Contact.

What you are now
But what you never really were
Because my voice reached you without a need,
without a purpose or reason
Sometimes
I just needed you to listen
But those weren’t my emergencies then
No,
These are my emergencies now

Can you hear it, darling?
My voice
echoing
From my heart to yours?