3 Words

I said them once upon a time

Then many many times after that

The levity of the words floating out of my heart through my vocal chords

Always gifted to the same person

Until the day came and I had to  keep the words to myself

Locked inside my heart they lost their meaning

And now it’s been years since I’ve said them

while you have never said them at all.

These two things, tragic as they are, makes it hard to say those simple words out loud

But I whisper them with my heart every now and then,

when you make me coffee in the mornings and sit with me on that tiny couch to listen to the news

and we laugh together at the same things and discuss world events, and sit cross legged on the carpet eating breakfast

Somedays we even put our hands together and bow to each other and mumble our version of japanese for “bon appetit”

And I always disrupt the news to ask you random questions about random things,

But you don’t mind, and you always know the answer

So I smile and whisper the words again in my heart,

And it’ll be this way until I’m certain it’s safe to say them out loud

Then I’ll scream them so your neighbors hear,

so you hear me loud and clear,

the three words ringing and floating out of my vocal chords straight to your heart,

where maybe you whisper those words to me too,

every now and then,

when I say things wrong or try to be so close to you that I end up pushing you out of bed.

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