Death changes everything when it takes your everything away.
You lose so much that you start to live life waiting for your time to come too, afraid of ever caring deeply again. You know, just in case. Because now you feel it in your bones the universal truth that nothing lasts forever. It’s no longer just an idea floating around in your head. It’s an ache, an open wound in the worst place. like on your fingertips. There’s no rest, no break from the fear of going through the worst one more time when you barely made it through before; when you’re barely making it through now; when you still cry and miss them and your head is still filled with endless regrets over the things you didn’t do or say; as if your actions would have made a difference in the end. You become irrational. And yet you’re more rational than you’ve ever been before.
Yea, death does that.
And when you try to start to touch again, to feel again, to love again, it’s right there; the ache throbbing, reminding you of the last time you felt that way and how it all disappeared in the end, like water that gets too hot and evaporates. It’s the most terrifying thing a human can experience: to give up control of your heart while knowing that it will eventually end in death and heartache. Always. Every single time.
But that’s the moment when you have to face your fears and let life and death figure it out between them. Because the funny thing about the aftermath of death is that only love can make you come alive again.
So when it knocks on your door, let love in. You deserve a break from all the sadness death forgot to take back with him.