he comes rushing in my mind again
he does that so much these days
invades my thoughts
turns the equilibrium
off
in love
I lose control
and that’s never been my forte
I have to learn what it means
to let go of fear and
fully
trust
perhaps a few tragedies
really are enough
perhaps I am
worthy
of being
adored
perhaps he really is
who he says he is
perhaps I am safe
perhaps I am loved
I have let go of so much in the past
why is it so hard
to let go
of the hurt?
perhaps the light
feels a bit uncomfortable
to eyes that grew used to shadows
but running away
is no longer
an option
I’ll just have to teach
my heart
to readjust
I’ll just have to tell myself
that it’s ok
that it’s safe now
and promise that there’s nothing to lose
or fear this time
I stared death in the face
and kissed each cheek goodbye
Happiness is mine.
All I have to do
is show up.
A.P. Bastian 