A day in the Fall

clouds float by and dissipate

one into the other

almost bare branches

hold on to dead leaves

as if they have forgotten

the promise of Spring

change is necessary

I want to remind them

to reach out and shake off all those leaves

and watch them fall to the ground,

one by one kissing their final resting place

 

but I’m not Father Time

and it’s beyond my power to force transformation

on trees and people and my heart

if all are not ready yet

 

So I sit and watch clouds dissipate

one into the other

leaving a faint trace of themselves behind

before taking on a new shape and

embarking on a new path.

 

 

notes on him

He holds me as if he knows that soon I’ll be leaving

as if the love between us is a beautiful and fragile thing

as if there’ll never be enough time in the world to share together

as if the dreams he’s dreaming and wishes he’s making will evaporate

the minute I get out of his bed-

so he kisses me like we don’t have forever

and looks at me with eternity in his eyes.

artist date

Give me solitude.

 

In fact, serve it to me on a silver platter-

I’ll gladly be the woman alone at the bar

with nothing but a pen and paper and my imagination

to keep me company.

I’ll gladly let you mistake my pleasure

for sadness

so long as the silence isn’t broken

and I can remain in this sacred space

with lady inspiration

a little while longer.

golden haze

I think he whispered “I love you” to me last night, his face half an inch from mine, his dark eyes occasionally opening to look at me, his wet lips parted in a slight grin as if he still can’t believe we’re here, together-

holding each other as one song morphs into another and the surrounding silence envelops the space between us in a warm cloud of golden haze.

I’m not exactly sure where I was then, perhaps half on earth and half in heaven, my body still buzzing from all the pleasure, relaxing into the magic we create when we come together.

I’m not exactly sure if I was dreaming or awake-

lately both have felt the same.

not this again

I had such a vivid dream last night

that he was standing right outside my door,

a pile of gifts at his feet,

and when I first saw him my stomach sank and

I thought to myself: not this again

and when he noticed my walls going up he whispered

please let me in

 

I don’t remember what happened next-

everything faded to black as if even in my dreams

my heart can’t face the possibility of

having to give him another chance.

 

it makes perfect sense.

 

the end was much too painful to try again.

serendipity

making plans for breakfast after we’ve been lounging in bed for a few hours

kisses have been shared and fingertips have explored

earlobes and back of necks and the curve of the spine

we have discussed deal-breakers

almost as if to confirm to the other

how perfect it is for the two of us

to be together,

we have discussed how odd it is

for life to be made up of numerous

seemingly random choices and events,

what I suppose most people would call fate.

 

Then he gets out of bed and opens the blinds to let the light in

and I open the door and find in front of me

a brand new beginning.