After so many losses I settle into connection slowly-
dipping my toes in the waters of love one at a time,
as if it could start boiling at any point
and burn me again.
Still I undress my soul and walk towards the water
even if my mind’s request to once more trust happiness
that flows from hands that are not my own
makes my heart feel unsettled
but settled or not, I give every ounce of love I got
in an effort to forget the times when I barely had a breath left in me to gift,
the times when I had to hide all the pictures in boxes because the sight of them
made me crumble under the weight of the sadness of what used-to-be,
the times when all this love had no place to go so I kept it inside-
look how it pours out of me now.
I put up the pictures of the two of us
and I want time to freeze
so I can stay happy like this
forever.
A.P. Bastian 