lucky no. 3

lucky year no. 3

his memory no longer stings

like it once used to

the pain

surface level now

the loss no longer

debilitating

perhaps that’s the most beautiful thing about love-

how it always finds a place

to nestle itself into

and turns dark spaces

into halos.

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For you

For the dark corners
you have learned to embrace
and the soft spaces
you still keep;
for the fragile strength
that has carried you through
and the bravery you’ve shown
when you stared death in the face
and chose instead
to live.
to love.

For the decision you make
day after day to keep hope
within reach
and let go of grief,
for the honest tears you’ve shed
so openly with yourself
and the mountains you climbed
on your way
to peace;
For your eyes and lips
and ears and fingertips
and hot breath in your lungs
for staying present
through it all;
For what was
what is
and what will be.
for growth.
For the voice you birthed from the pain
and for the courage you’ve found to walk away
and let the past
die for good.

For Spring after Winter.
For the light in the darkness.
For rebirth.
For you.

destination: love

maybe I’ll never get to see
all the places my feet wish to wander through
maybe the oceans and plains I dream of visiting
will remain a mystery to my eyes
a vision only in my mind
but perhaps his two arms will become my world
and the scent on his neck home
it’s possible that his embrace
can become the safe place
I never thought I’d find again
and that life is enough of an adventure
if lived by his side
with a lot of love
and a side of laughter.

caution

I’ve learned to keep my thorns sharp,

even if I do happen to put some of them away ocassionally

You never know if this time I’ll need to use them

I build my walls and kick the ladder so he has to

climb and curse for me

I make him work and sweat for me, while giving only the bare minimum

a teaspoon of sugar just to keep him interested-

the sweetest honey comes from the Queen Bee

and now only the strong can manage to wrestle love

out of me.

 

Coming Soon

2 years and 10 months of writing myself out of numbness and into nirvana, 301 double-sided pages of purging, of growth, of heartbreaking honest words. Now comes the editing process, and then… publishing! Thank you to all who have supported me through this journey, who have brought me wine in bed during the really rough days (you know who you are), who have read the first few chapters and encouraged me to keep going, or simply kept a light on for me as I delved into darkness. This book was born out of the grief I experienced losing my best friend and was written for all who have experienced loss. I cannot wait to be able to share my story with the world.