He became my song for a while
until he took away his hands
and his music followed
but what of my ears? I asked
who will play me into love? my heart wanted to know
but there wasn’t enough harmony in our melody
to justify a one-sided affair
so I left him with a gift of my own:
the grand finale
to our out of tune
love.
“I want to love again,” I said when you asked what I wanted.
You put your head down then, a sad crooked smile on your face, as if it was so wonderful for me to want someone that knows he won’t stay.
If you’ve been curious,
if you’ve been thinking about me,
about us-
Don’t.
I’m still cursing your name under my breath
Trying to understand why
I was never enough to warrant a few minutes of your time
after all the hours we spent losing track of it.
Anger fills my heart
Tell me, how should I handle it?
My heart only recognizes love
And curse as I may
You’re still here;
In the flakes of snow that fall from the sky,
In the concrete buildings of the city,
In a farmer’s hands,
In your mother’s eyes;
You’re worlds apart and still,
I find you everywhere-
I write for you,
I sing for you,
I cry for you,
I pray for you,
I pretend things are great for you,
I even lie to myself for you.
I don’t know how much more predictive I can be
I was a fool,
And you just took advantage of it
That day you asked if I always fell for jerks
I said “not always”
Thinking you wouldn’t be another one of them;
So don’t
Don’t try
And I won’t any longer.
