Wanderlust

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Let’s get away.
Away from all the to-do’s and must-haves and shoulds that the world seems to constantly want to shove into our days. Away from schedules and alarm clocks.
I want to fall asleep under a starry sky held tight in your arms and wake up with your breath still hot on my neck. Let’s just go, follow the dirt road until we can’t anymore, until the river turns into a creek, until the air gets crisp, until we find the perfect spot to lose track of time. And then let’s stay there for a bit, immersed in the magic of it all, just you and me and the sunshine and the breeze and this life we have built. Darling, let’s go away for some time and live as if we’ve never known pain before. As if we’ve never been strangers to one another at one point in time. As if all we have is this moment, right here, right now, with the sun in our eyes and so much hope in our hearts for everything that’s still to come.

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For you

For the dark corners
you have learned to embrace
and the soft spaces
you still keep;
for the fragile strength
that has carried you through
and the bravery you’ve shown
when you stared death in the face
and chose instead
to live.
to love.

For the decision you make
day after day to keep hope
within reach
and let go of grief,
for the honest tears you’ve shed
so openly with yourself
and the mountains you climbed
on your way
to peace;
For your eyes and lips
and ears and fingertips
and hot breath in your lungs
for staying present
through it all;
For what was
what is
and what will be.
for growth.
For the voice you birthed from the pain
and for the courage you’ve found to walk away
and let the past
die for good.

For Spring after Winter.
For the light in the darkness.
For rebirth.
For you.

destination: love

maybe I’ll never get to see
all the places my feet wish to wander through
maybe the oceans and plains I dream of visiting
will remain a mystery to my eyes
a vision only in my mind
but perhaps his two arms will become my world
and the scent on his neck home
it’s possible that his embrace
can become the safe place
I never thought I’d find again
and that life is enough of an adventure
if lived by his side
with a lot of love
and a side of laughter.

caution

I’ve learned to keep my thorns sharp,

even if I do happen to put some of them away ocassionally

You never know if this time I’ll need to use them

I build my walls and kick the ladder so he has to

climb and curse for me

I make him work and sweat for me, while giving only the bare minimum

a teaspoon of sugar just to keep him interested-

the sweetest honey comes from the Queen Bee

and now only the strong can manage to wrestle love

out of me.

 

Bananas, Oranges, Milk and Bread

we remember
the to-do lists left unchecked
to pay the cable bill and call
the waiter for the check
then,
laundry
food shopping,
bananas
oranges
milk
bread

feed the cat.

Don’t forget to call mom back.

The mind is kind as
it gives the heart a rest
and occupies itself
with menial tasks.

bananas
oranges
milk and bread

but perhaps I’m still there
hiding beneath all his pending to-do’s.

chemistry

I know that it’s just science-
oxytocin and endorphins rush in my blood then
dance their way back down to normalcy
in my brain.
But I can’t help it.
I’m like an addict
and he’s become the drug.

So what’s the antidote?
time and distance?
How do I wean myself off?
How do I keep my wits about me?
How to keep my walls supported?
How to not let just another somebody rule my heart?