maybe that’s why we worked

by the time I met him

I was so used to

kissing my own wounds

that I started to kiss his

without a second

thought.

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just a boy

I’ve always been a fan of the fixer uppers,
maybe because for a while there
I thought of myself as one, or maybe
I was so broken that I thought I deserved the same,
some more jagged sharp edges to pierce my center,
another critical mind to judge me harshly,
or maybe I was just as shallow
in my simplistic demands for passion,
maybe just as dumb to think I could keep
fire separate from warmth;
hands separate from love…
a line drawn in the middle with an incredulous finger
when it became obvious he had no heart to gift back.

was that really a choice or just me giving in?

Now he calls me a girl
as if he hadn’t yet met the woman I’ve become
and I call him a boy
because that’s exactly
who he is.

What type of warrior are you?

Another dagger in the heart

You’d think by now that 

I’d have learned how 

to use my shield,

how to wield my sword…

Guess I’m just not

the type of warrior 

who fights off love. 

two halves can’t make a whole

I was still breaking when you met me

maybe that’s why you never let yourself fall,

maybe that’s why seeing her lips kissing his

was more important than keeping yours on mine,

maybe that’s why you even liked me at the beginning:

A woman with substance.

You knew I would never just

stay on the surface,

that I had way too many words to gift.

 

But you were also breaking and didn’t know it

because you never stood still long enough to notice

your seams coming apart

maybe you liked me because I helped you stop,

taught you to listen to the words between the silences

but isn’t it funny how sometimes when you stop

you also start to walk away?

all of a sudden you had a list of all your to-do’s

and I wasn’t a part of them

An abyss opened up between us

and only then did we notice

how far away we had drifted

from the kind of love

we both deserved.

 

 

 

first date

“Water is essential for hydration,” he said in between small sips.

I knew I liked him then.

I had never seen anyone talk about water for so long on a first date before. And even if I never got to love him after that, at least I loved him then; in that brief moment, that short circuit in the Universe on just another ordinary Friday in the Fall.