They Say, I Feel

Tell me again how I should feel

“It’ll pass,” they say

and so everyday, I wake up and place this armour around me before setting foot outside

“I can do this,” I say

Knowing full well that part of me just wants to crawl back inside and die.

“Don’t say that!” they seem upset

but these are the feelings I feel and keep hidden behind this mask of strength.

Most days,

I can be who they want me to be.

Just not today.

Please, for God’s sake and his,

give today to me.

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STFU

Tell my conscience

to shut the fuck up

Give in to my heart

Stop fighting the need inside me

to stop.

breathe.

feel.

forgive.

love.

appreciate.

dance.

laugh.

scream.

cry.

You are not robot, I repeat.

feel.

And feel deeply, painfully, without borders or ends-

feel to infinity,

feel until the end

And then,

Feel again.

Stormy Weather

I’ve been avoiding blank screens lately. Not because I have nothing to say, but rather because I’m afraid I have too much to share. There is a storm brewing inside me and I find it better to wait it out rather than writing some convoluted post trying to get it all out in less than 2000 characters.  Once I figure out a quiet way to let my emotions both identify and clarify themselves, I will put all this energy into some hopefully good writing.

Until then, I’m sitting here listening to the thunderstorms inside me.

Let me know if you’d like to listen with me.