repeat after me: it’s not personal.

Sometimes heartbreaks have nothing to do with you.

Sometimes hearing “I’m not in love with you” isn’t personal.

Sometimes someone is just so unhappy with themselves

they think walking away from a relationship will solve things

and bring them the happiness they’ve been missing.

Sometimes they just haven’t yet learned

that the sadness inside

has been there all along

and will not subside

with a partner by their side.

It will not subside until they learn

how to make themselves happy on their own again.


Sometimes when you love someone

you need to give them space to realize

that they actually really love you, too.

That they actually never fell out of love with you.

They just fell out of love with themselves.

So how can they possibly offer you love now?

Sometimes they’re so empty they can’t even

open their eyes to the truth.

Or maybe it’s just denial

that the problem is them,

and not you.

Not love.


Love is never the problem.


And sometimes you can offer that person space

and time works in your favor

and love is reborn.

And other times, when you give space

the distance between two hearts

grows too far

to ever go back.


Sometimes you just can’t know

how things will work out

so you surrender to the unknown

and walk down a new path

with blind certainty that you’ll be just fine

because you had to learn how to make yourself happy

without needing anyone by your side.


You have learned the lessons.

Now it’s their turn.


It’s not personal.


Sometimes when people leave,

it really has nothing to do with you.

They’re just so lost that

they think it does.


I came to Brazil prepared to write. I brought my laptop and pens and lined paper, in case inspiration found me at the beach. But the days came and the sea called my name. I stood on the balcony facing a beautiful ocean on one side and my silver laptop on another. My choice is obviously no mystery here- the turquoise ocean it was!

After four weeks of doing a lot of lounging in a beach chair, I came up with no outstanding ideas for blog posts or subjects to jot down. Instead, I found myself drawn to experiences like shopping at the local market and talking to the sellers (see: He who shreds my coconuts), dancing on a sandy beach under a full moon, and hiking up to a waterfall in the mud while avoiding being eaten alive by mosquitoes.

Whereas I had come to Brazil ready to reflect on the meaning of life, having no agenda to do so made me learn much more. When I sat by the ocean, I learned to relax and to hear the sound of my own breathing. Sometimes life speeds up so fast I forget I’m a human and not a machine. When the wind blew my wet hair right and left then left again, I learned that I’m most beautiful when I just relax and accept all my faults and defects.  When I stood talking to sellers at the local market, they taught me that one of the most honorable things I can ever do is work hard, and work happily. When Brazilians shoved themselves passed me in the holiday crowds, I learned the importance of never forgetting your manners, regardless of where you come from and regardless of whether the locals do the same. During nightly dinners with my family I learned that food always tastes better when it is made with love and shared with loved ones.

But most importantly, I learned that life is short to be so stressed out all the time. So relax, take a breath- there is nothing you and I can change by sighing deeply or belittling others in order to feel better. Tomorrow will come regardless of whether or not we’re ready, so accept the cycle of life and learn to laugh at the curve balls life throws your way.

After all, what fun would it be if everything always happened the way you planned? And what would I have gained by sitting by my computer, ready for knowledge and insightfulness to be bestowed upon me? Live life and let it teach you its lessons. Don’t take it too seriously either. After all, like Woody Allen once said, none of us gets out of it alive.

You would've blown off your laptop too...

5 Desert Lessons

Not to be confused with dessert lessons. One S less sweet, people.

1. Do pick the fruits outside of your hotel room. Fresh-squeezed grapefruit goes great with vodka

2. Never give water balloons to the children at the pool- sooner or later they will turn against you!

3. Don’t underestimate the many wonderful uses of an apple

4. Don’t be afraid to make the steam room at the spa even more steamy

5. Do get your zen on- be it by laying by the pool while sipping some cold concoction, stopping at a True Blood inspired bar on the way home for sweet potato fries, swimming around in the pool pretending to be  a mermaid, or just sitting back, relaxing, and laughing at the fact that we have turned the desert into a getaway destination. And a great one at that!

Life in the desert is hard. So hard.