just a boy

I’ve always been a fan of the fixer uppers,
maybe because for a while there
I thought of myself as one, or maybe
I was so broken that I thought I deserved the same,
some more jagged sharp edges to pierce my center,
another critical mind to judge me harshly,
or maybe I was just as shallow
in my simplistic demands for passion,
maybe just as dumb to think I could keep
fire separate from warmth;
hands separate from love…
a line drawn in the middle with an incredulous finger
when it became obvious he had no heart to gift back.

was that really a choice or just me giving in?

Now he calls me a girl
as if he hadn’t yet met the woman I’ve become
and I call him a boy
because that’s exactly
who he is.

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planting sunflowers

He was enough
just the way he was
the day he helped me plant my first sunflower
and as if speaking to the child inside me
he told me to not be scared for the worms
as I dug my shovel into the clumps of soil,
putting all their lives in peril.

And I remember smiling at the fact that
we could yell at each other
and then spend the rest of the day’s light
playing in the dirt
together.

What type of warrior are you?

Another dagger in the heart

You’d think by now that 

I’d have learned how 

to use my shield,

how to wield my sword…

Guess I’m just not

the type of warrior 

who fights off love. 

Flight

We’re smaller than ants
in the grand scheme of things
and yet.
here we are, pretending we
have forever to enjoy another sunset,
still wishing for the days we had
when there’s still so much ahead.

When the future comes knocking, answer it.

There’s nothing left in the past
for you to keep now.

Let it go.

Trust that love will come again
just like it did then.

and you?

been spending more time than usual

listening to the familiar,

coming home to myself,

healing the scabs instead of picking at them;

been keeping my words on lips

and lined pages,  been investing

in the power of my lungs and strength

of my heart;

been keeping my tears safe

and my mind wild,

been living the love I have yet to have

and holding on to the hope that everything that’s been

just precedes even better days.