Merry Griefmas

This year it’s just me and my tears and a cup of coffee for breakfast the day before Christmas.

The problem with the Grinch Who Stole Christmas is that not enough emphasis is placed on how he became who he is.When the holidays become hard because of the past, it’s easy to want to have nothing to do with them.

It’s just harder, this time of year, to ignore the pain of loss and heartbreak. It’s as if all the deep wounds float up to the surface for everyone and every encounter to poke about and tear apart.

No matter how much he hurt me when he walked away, I want nothing more right now than to just get everything we once had back.

But wishes can’t be wrapped up and placed under the Christmas tree.

So they stay here, in my heart, reminding me of the lost love that can’t find its way back home for Christmas Day.

Merry Griefmas once again.

Mornings Like This

There is comfort laying still in the silence between us

Who are you, dear?

Have you also been searching for 

mornings like this?
With my feet wrapped around and between your legs,

I am silent and still

At peace

As our newest favorite song plays on repeat
Mornings like this

Is what everyone dreams of

And not many get to have

So if I get nothing else from you but this quiet morning with your warm body beside me

Let me tell you now how much I love it-

To have you become a fixture in my world,

even if briefly

On mornings like this. 

Morning

A book for breakfast,
this song as my soundratck
my pillows?
my fortress
protecting me from the world of logic out there
I love this company
of books,
and silences,
of old songs I’ve grown to love-
and many times, I loved his as much as this
Simple things
Don’t ask for much
But for a little time
to share
like this,
moments
maybe
with you.

Pieces

Open my eyes
To feel my body bare

Nothing sits on my skin
But your scent

And in my lungs,
There’s only your breath and smoke
On my lips,
The now fading taste of your tongue.

I used to love mornings alone.

Now I share them with the pieces of you

That you, somehow

Left behind in my room.