this much, that early

what I want time refuses

to hand over

not yet ready for the future

and unsatisfied with the present

I run ahead of my desires

straight into plans

that were never made

and I end up loving him

this much

that early

all over again.



time flies

I jumped into October

and dived right into November

December and January

I slept

just to wake up to all the love of February


came the flowers of March

and the showers of April

and it’s not my fault you never learned

to mind for all the maybes of May

in June I bloomed

but July and August

were for blossoming

and somehow, between then

and now,

I fell straight into





I don’t break any more

I just bend

I just bruise

I don’t need your strength

your hands

I’ve got my own

so don’t feed me another excuse

I no longer just swallow them down

because the eyes that stare back at me in the mirror

are still mine

but now there’s a woman inside

time is no longer just a commodity

it’s a luxury

and darling I no longer dare

wasting mine.