snow on the first day of Spring

It’s the first day of Spring.

I press my nose against the cold glass of the door that leads out into the balcony and stare out into the snow- it’s been an hour or so since it started falling and already tree branches support the weight of Winter as rooftops dress themselves in white.

None of life is the way it should be right now.

I wonder for how much longer will I have to stand here, gazing upon the outside world with a foreign sense of hope that arrived suddenly from I don’t know where. I wonder for how much longer I’ll try and hold on to old ways of living and the need to produce something beautiful and worthwhile out of the silence that envelops the entire planet right now.

Is it Winter or is it Spring?

Sometimes life is just as uncertain as the weather.

Stillness

Rain drops distort the flickering lights outside my window to a somber blur

The stillness finds me restless

But the silence doesn’t move me to speak

and break the serenity I feel in this moment,

under the covers

Hiding from everyone but me

 

Slipping deeper into myself,

I search the corners of my heart and mind

Not for answers

Not for questions

But for a statement that will enlighten me

Where so many others have failed

 

Some days I am my own greatest companion

My body and mind know what to do to give me pleasure

And in this stillness

I cherish the thoughts I keep unshared-

Secrets are so delectable.

Snow

The snow fell like salt,

seasoning the world with the wishes made by those who still believe in wishes

I looked up at the tiny slice of sky visible from my chair

not knowing why or what my heart wanted to say

paralyzed by the indescribable

I anticipated the new to makes all things new

and not merely replace one misery for another

no wishes whispered,

but desires scribbled on a lined piece of paper

memorializing my grand gesture of hope

that good things come to those who fight for them.

The snow stopped falling

But I still felt ice cold in my prison of theories and calculated logic.