If you’ve been curious,
if you’ve been thinking about me,
I’m still cursing your name under my breath
Trying to understand why
I was never enough to warrant a few minutes of your time
after all the hours we spent losing track of it.
Anger fills my heart
Tell me, how should I handle it?
My heart only recognizes love
And curse as I may
You’re still here;
In the flakes of snow that fall from the sky,
In the concrete buildings of the city,
In a farmer’s hands,
In your mother’s eyes;
You’re worlds apart and still,
I find you everywhere-
I write for you,
I sing for you,
I cry for you,
I pray for you,
I pretend things are great for you,
I even lie to myself for you.
I don’t know how much more predictive I can be
I was a fool,
And you just took advantage of it
That day you asked if I always fell for jerks
I said “not always”
Thinking you wouldn’t be another one of them;
And I won’t any longer.